I will say that it's very important to make a clear distinction between the time you are "in character" as your "D/S dynamic" selves, and the time you're both just two human beings on equal footing in your "relationship dynamic". You can signal when the dynamic needs to shift - when you need to drop the power play and have a check-in around emotions or boundaries - as plainly or as subtly as you want.
Read MoreI know that for me, the more exposure and familiarity I have with my partner's wife, the more comfortable we get with one another, and the more respect we have for one another. It's this competitive "fear of the unknown" that causes our insecurities to manifest.
Read MoreOne of the reasons that non-monogamy gets a bad rap is because there are lots of folks out there claiming the identity and the culture while failing to exercise the most basic of its principles: Honesty. Transparency, communication, and an ethical “do-no-harm” mindset are integral to practicing polyamory. Otherwise, what you’re doing isn’t non-monogamy; it’s being single, being slutty, “playing the field”, and/or just plain cheating.
Read MoreA few months back, my partner hypothetically posed the question of opening up our relationship. We decided that it wasn't the right time for either of us, but now I'm second guessing. This is something I actively want, but now my partner is seriously struggling with mental illness and I'm worried this will break them. How do I bring this back to the table?
Read MoreI had one poly relationship that didn't work out. It was the pairing, not the philosophy, that didn't work out. My partner was the one who introduced me to polyamory. How do you bring up this topic with a new partner?
Read MoreIf you go through a break-up with your primary, how do you negotiate the suddenly less clearly defined status of your secondaries? Were they "promoted" to primary by default? How do you avoid all the heaviness that brings with it?
Read MoreAs my relationship with Dan has started to get more serious, Layla has begun to complain that he "asserts" himself towards her the ways that cis dudes relate with each other (the hard handshake, the "you gotta take care of her", talk, he once tried to playfully shadowbox her, etc) and it's made her really uncomfortable.
Read MoreHuman nature is to create hierarchies, even inside marginalized communities. Somehow, even in the midst of facilitating delicious, supportive community with the intention of lifting each other up, we can’t help but throw others under us to gain height.
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