I'm a Black woman. In a culture of #polyamorysowhite, how do I find community that's reflective of ME?*
*In honor of Black History/#Wakanda month, I asked polyamory professional Kevin Patterson to be a guest columnist for today's question. Enjoy!
A couple of decades ago, I was a student at the best HBCU in all the land, Howard University! Part of my experience there was membership in the Gentlemen of Drew Social Club, a fraternal organization that leads impressionable freshmen to great works of public service and personal responsibility. Among other things, that we were known for our heavy, royal blue hooded sweatshirts with quotes and personal statements on the back.
One of the hoodie quotes that I found to be most influential, was that of my edition brother, Javier. His sweatshirt read the paraphrased quote, “Either we will find a way or build one.” It’s often attributed to Hannibal, in his attempt to cross the Alps with elephants…
...fortunately, you’re (probably) not trying to cross the Alps with elephants. You’re trying to find a POC-centered polyamory community...which is slightly less daunting.
Polyamory communities often appear hidden in plain sight. The easiest place to find them in general is through the power of the internet. The best places to look are Meetup.com and Facebook. Meetup is exactly as it sounds. People use the website to organize groups of like-minded people into gatherings in physical spaces. An easy search for “Polyamory” localized to the closest metropolitan area will likely turn up a group or three dedicated to the exploration of ethical non-monogamy. These groups usually focus around discussion groups, potlucks, happy hours, and other low-stress environments.
Facebook, on the other hand, is....Facebook. Probably the most well-known social media juggernauts, Facebook is home to an endless amount of groups/forums/message boards devoted to one aspect or another of polyamory.