Is it possible to be poly and kind of a prude?

Is it possible to be poly and kind of a prude?

In short? Abso-posit-tively!

 

Sexual desire fluctuates throughout our lives and is dependent on a number of variable, intersecting, and often unpredictable factors. How old we are, how stable our home and work lives are, what medications we’re on, how much sleep we’re getting, whether we’re sick or injured, if we’re navigating mental health issues, how accepting and sexually progressive the area(s) in which we reside are, etc. This is as true for non-monogamous people as it is for monogamous folks (and it’s especially true for sex workers!). Believe me, it’s perfectly normal to find yourself overdosing on Tinder dates and initiating kinky group sex situations with you and your partner(s) for a few months of time, and then spend the next few months being completely satisfied by your own hand or vibrator. Human beings aren’t consistent or predictable; they’re human...and yet so often we forget.

Also, polyamory does not come hand-in-hand with being kinky. There is substantial overlap, particularly in liberal, highly concentrated urban areas where there’s increased access to both the local kink and non-monogamous communities, but they’re as different as sexual orientation and gender identity are. “Non-monogamy” dictates a preference for how you structure your intimate relationships, while being “kinky” indicates a variety of sexual activity and dynamic preference. There are scores of kinky people out there in committed monogamous relationships, just as there are scores of non-monogamous people out there with relatively “vanilla” or “traditional” sex lives. Just because you identify as a member of one community does not necessitate an adherence to another community, and if anyone ever tries to question, shame, or ridicule your avoidance of or disinterest in the kink community as a polyamorous person, fuck ‘em (not literally - you know what I mean!).